the first beach day.

It has been months. I mean months since you have been on the glorious beach. But today is the day. It's the beginning of May, and the sun has decided to give you a sneak peek at what's to come in the summer months. You pull up into the empty parking lot, and step out onto the asphalt. A brisk ocean breeze hits your exposed skin, which has been comfortably hidden under jeans and sweaters all winter long. But this feels good. It is waking you up. You can feel the life seeping back into your hibernating veins. You get the kids out of the car, and grab the cooler and towels and you throw everything into the oversized bike stroller(which doubles as the beach cart). You begin walking toward the dunes where, just on the other side, lies the big, blue, beautiful Atlantic Ocean.

Your reach the sand, and the kids are running now, as fast as they can to get to the top of the dune. The wind has picked up, and you can actually feel the sea-salt hitting your face. You have arrived. And at this very moment, life is just the way it should be.

I came across these images today while working on my website, and I was reminded of what a special day this was. So I had to share. AND, the fact that I am in some of them(thanks to my lovely and talented husband) was a plus.

Josephine: the urban gardener

This is my Josephine. She is a firecracker. She is determined. She is strong and brave and one of the most loving little souls I have ever known. I sometimes can't believe she is my baby, that I was so lucky to have been given this little spirit. Every day she, and her big sister, teach me something new about love, forgiveness, the importance of dreams, and the importance of appreciating this life. This is not a dress-rehearsal. This is it. And it is beautiful. xo

Dayna and Scott

I was up until 4 am Wednesday night finishing editing, uploading, and sharing these images. I have to say, I am honestly nervous about posting them publicly.. Something about it seems so unsafe, and makes me feel so vulnerable. Like you put your heart and soul into something, to then put it in the hands of people who may not have the kindest response to it is kind of intimidating, especially considering this is the very first wedding I have ever photographed. I have done hair and makeup for countless brides and bridal parties over the years, and I have worked beside the photographer many many times, but this was the first time I actually did both! (Yes, I did her hair and makeup too...) So yes, I am slightly nervous about putting it all out there. I did put so much into this entire process. Time, elbow grease, heart, and soul. From the actual day of the wedding, to the editing process, I had my work cut out for me. Not to mention that combined between my wonderful friend, Jason Langevin (who came to second shoot for me), and myself, I had over 2500 images to sort through, choose, and edit. I never realized how much work goes into photographing a wedding, and I have to say, I learned sooooo much from this experience. Yes, I learned how difficult certain lighting situations can be during an outdoor wedding on a bright sunny day in late June, and how quickly the moments fly by that you barely have time to think about the settings on your camera(which is why it is so important to know your shit!). I also learned some new little techniques and work flow tips in the editing process which I know will prove beneficial to me in the future. But I also learned some things that go beyond the craft of photography.

I was reminded of how true love, and solid relationships(family or otherwise) are irreplaceable and should never be taken for granted. I was reminded that distance can never hurt a true friendship. True love and friendship goes beyond miles, beyond oceans. I was shown what we, as human beings, can accomplish when we come together and work TOGETHER. Watching Dayna and Scott and their two families and all of their friends come together on this incredible family compound in Wardsboro, Vermont to build, cook, create, and put into fruition a day that Dayna and Scott had dreamed of was so inspiring.

We arrived around 9:30 that morning and the house was already in full swing. We watched, with a lens covering one eye of course, everyone playing their parts. Dayna's brother making the music playlists, grandmas, moms, aunts, and uncles bustling away cooking EVERYTHING for the party of 120+, the bridesmaids wrapping silverware, and the dads and groomsmen moving logs and setting tables and chairs. The cake arrived from Montpelier in a friends car just an hour before the ceremony and still had to be iced! So my amazing friend Patrick Langevin, (who was also the wedding coordinator), took up the task without hesitation, even though he had NEVER frosted a cake before in his life. My dear dear friend from childhood, who also happens to be Patrick's sister and Jason's wife, volunteered to 'man' the DJ station. And everything unraveled beautifully. I mean, it was seriously perfect.

And then of course, there were Dayna and Scott. Just to be able to see the joy on their faces as people rolled up the driveway from all over the world was a privilege. They had friends from Ireland, Costa Rica, California, and elsewhere all came in for the big day. And the love that they continued to gently exude for one another throughout the day.. without direction. Words could not describe it. Just honest, beautiful, magical love. It was magical. And I'm not just saying that. It was. A wedding is a magical, beautiful, special time and the images that a couple gets after that day shouldn't just consist of perfectly lit, posed family photos(although those are important too). They should tell the story. They should capture the truth. They should bring tears to our eyes as we flip through them because they transport us right back to that very place over and over again. This is what I was aiming for. This is what we set out to achieve that hot Vermont morning in June.

I received this in an email back from Dayna yesterday morning after I sent her the gallery, and my heart almost burst. I think this is why people love doing this. It's all right here;

"...So I am half way through the set up and I am crying. Just wanted you to know that I can't even describe the personal touch that you have. The shots capture everyone's heart and you didn't even know them. They are so special...."

My heart was so full of joy that day. And again as I have relived the moments through the editing process, I am reminded of all of that love. I am reminded of its beauty, its magic, and its power.. which is why I know I HAVE to share these images, regardless of how vulnerable it makes me feel.

Thank you, Dayna and Scott for inviting me to be a part of telling this story. Thank you for believing in me and my vision. I wish you both not just the best in life, but the strength to stick through the crappy parts too, to come out on the other end better and stronger and happier. This is love. xo

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photography: Jennifer Marcuson and Jason Langevin

image editing: Jennifer Marcuson

all images copyright of Jennifer Marcuson: the artist

a (no longer) secret love.

I am in the midst of packing and cleaning and getting ready to head back south into the states tomorrow morning with the family for a couple of weeks. Before heading to Connecticut, Mathieu and the girls will be dropping me off in Vermont where I will be spending the weekend photographing my very first wedding. AHHHHHHH!!!!! It is safe to say I am sort of freaking out... with excitement and nerves and anticipation! We did a little engagement session about a month ago in Montpelier on our way back north to Québec for Dayna and Scott. It couldn't have been more perfect. We were at this incredible nature reserve picking fiddle heads and tromping through mud and grass fields. I got to know them both a bit better, and am just so excited for them. They are beyond sweet and gentle and visibly in love. I mean, I have butterflies in my belly right now just thinking about their beautiful love story! And also, well, when I photographed them last month in Vermont, I learned a little secret.. But I was just given the go ahead by Dayna and Scott to share, so I will let the pictures speak for themselves.....

Congratulations to you both. I am wishing you many many mannnyyy years of joy, laughter, the sounds of pitter-pattering baby feet, and love love love. xoxoxo

the lover. the fighter. the beautiful woman.

I first met Marie-Claude over four years ago, the same weekend I came to Quebec to visit Mathieu for the first time. She was dating a friend of his, and the four of us had met out for dinner at a bring your own wine restaurant in Quebec City. My french was pretty much non-existent then, and Marie was a bit shy in English, but with the guys as our translators and the wine as our confidence, we got along just perfectly. The next time I saw Marie, she told us that she was pregnant. Ironically, about a month or so later, I found out that I was pregnant as well. We talked over facebook quite a bit about our pregnancies, keeping track of one another, making little comparisons here and there, being that it was the first time the both of us were going through this. Mathieu and I didn't want to know the sex of our baby, but Marie-Claude had discovered that they were having a boy. They named him Charles-Antoine. She was beyond excited, she was a beautiful, proud mommy.

I was still living in Brooklyn when we got the devastating news. After some complications with her pregnancy, at about 23 weeks gestation, baby Charles-Antoine was born, and passed away. I was in shock. My heart ached for them. It was so unfair.

The next time I saw Marie-Claude, I was about 7 1/2 months pregnant. I was nervous to see her, afraid that her seeing me would bring on so many unimaginable emotions for her. I remember thinking that I wouldn't have been strong enough to do it. But she was. And I admired her for it.

When Marie-Claude messaged me to ask for me to photograph her, I was so honored. She told me that she wanted some photos to commemorate a new beginning for herself. I was nervous.. I wanted so badly to be able to give her these images to help to re-enforce that strength that she has within her, that I ever-so clearly saw in her, and for her to recall the beauty that not only exists on the outside, but inside of her as well.

She emailed me after she first looked through all of her images. Her message filled me with so much joy, tears welled up in my eyes.

"Honnêtement je viens de regarder les photos et j'ai les larmes aux yeux ! Ton travail est INCROYABLE et tu as su capter toute ma force et ma vulnérabilité ! J'ai l'impression de me "voir" pour la première fois comme les personnes qui tiennent à moi me voient !

Le petit mot que tu m'as écrit m'a ému. Tu es une fille, une femme et une mère qui a un talent artistique hors du commun !

Ta mission est accomplie puisque je vais regarder ces photos dans 10-20-30 ans avec une émotion différente chaque fois, mais toujours avec le sentiment d'avoir immortalisé mes 30 ans de la meilleur façon que l'on puisse le faire !

Merci pour ce moment, merci a toi et ta famille de faire partie de ma vie et n'oublie jamais, toi aussi, à quel point tu es belle et extraordinaire !"

"Honestly, I just looked through all of the photos and I have tears in my eyes! Your work is INCREDIBLE and you have captured all of my strength and my vulnerability. I feel like I am "seeing" myself for the first time in the way that others who find me attractive see me!

The little note that you wrote to me moved me as well. You are a girl, a woman, and a mother who has an artistic talent that you don't see often.

Mission accomplished. I will look at these photos in 10-20-30 years with a different emotion each time, but always with the feeling of having lived my 30 years in the best way I could.

Thank you for this moment, thank you to you and your family for being a part of my life, and don't ever forgot that you too are beautiful and extraordinary."

This is why I want to do this. This is what I hope that my images can do for people. These are the memories that we will have for years and years and years to come. And perhaps, some day, when Marie is not feeling at her strongest, she can look at these images and be reminded of the incredible woman that she is.

xoxo